Darkness Of Day.
Time: Set after War Within (do NOT read if you don't want spoilers for my fic series).
WARNING: The following story will contain explicit content, such as child abuse, sexual abuse, profanity, substance abuse, mental instabilities, gore and violence. Please read at your own risk.
Day One: Virtual Reality.
With the rhythmic beeping, Shockwave gave a soft sigh, watching his mate breathe. He didn't know how it happened. No one did. But here the once strong mech was now lying in the hospital berth with numerous wires plugged into him. Was he dying? The doctors didn't think so. The only information they could give him was that Megatron had fallen into a coma. Unfortunately, no one knew why. Apparently the extent to the physical damage wasn't the problem.
His spark was heavy with worry. If he could just find a reason to why this was happening, then maybe they could pull Megatron out of it. The mech had been driving at the time, apparently speaking to his father beforehand. The next thing Shockwave knew, he was getting a call from Kaon Hospital, saying the mech had crashed. Even the police couldn't give him an answer to how or why the crash had happened.
"Please," he whispered, feeling the warm ebony hand beneath his own. "Please give me a sign that you can hear me," he said, his usually soft English accent drowning in his sheer desperation. He just needed to know if he was going to be okay. How could the former warlord battle endlessly, suffering immense amounts of damage, and then go into a coma from a fucking car crash!? This wasn't Megatron! This wasn't the shameful way he'd wish to go!
No, he told himself. Megatron would not go. This was not where his mate would die. Not after all the bullshit they had been through just to get here! And they were even planning on a sparkling! He figured Megatron would have been more than happy
Hearing the door open, Shockwave didn't turn around, he simply watched his mate. If it were a doctor, they would have said something, instead, all he heard was the other 'bot in the room pull over a seat, sitting beside him.
Looking to Shockwave, Karmashock frowned as his optics looked to the silver mech on the berth. He was bruised badly, but certainly nothing that Megatron couldn't handle. Apparently most of the impact had been to his right side, where he had run into the stop light. The damage was visible to his protoform, and his armour was taken off, sitting on the rack awaiting repairs.
"The doctors said he's comfortable
" he said, his Australian accent soft as he saw Shockwave's hand tighten around the ebony one. "I guess there's no change yet?" He didn't quite know how to react to this. He dealt with sexual issues and every day psychology, not patients who were in comas. He knew about them, and what could happen under the comatose state, but he'd never personally dealt with it before, even if he was qualified.
Shaking his head, the violet mech's single optic looked across the small room. "You and I both know this isn't comforting to Megatron. Being held here? In this small room? Not to mention the instruments hooked into his systems. He's a prisoner, and we don't even know the reason why
Fighting back the urge to hit something, Shockwave knew better than to cause any kind of scene, especially in a hospital. Plus, he didn't want to disturb Megatron. His mate needed his rest, or at least anything that wouldn't cause him subconscious stress.
Frowning, Karmashock nodded. It was true. Megatron was never a mech to feel comfortable in hospitals, nor was he one to like being hooked up with numerous amounts of wires. "I'm sure we'll find out soon, Shockwave. After all, they have police working on it, and the medics are doing all they can right now." Which clearly wasn't much, considering the state of the former Decepticon leader.
"And how long do we have to wait!?" asked Shockwave, his antennae pricking back as he turned to the therapist. "How long do we have to suffer in silence!? They should have answers by now! Megatron didn't just crash because he bloody well felt like it! Something happened to him, and I won't rest easy until I know what truly happened out there." He would make a personal visit to Puncture, too. If that mech dare spoke to his mate and made him do this? He'd tear his spine out!
Lowering his optics, the therapist gave a soft noise. He didn't expect Shockwave to simply sit here and cry over his mate's state. Of course the mech wanted answers. They all did. Even the medics, who were clearly in over their heads over the whole situation.
Standing, he placed his hand onto the edge of the berth. "I'll get you something to drink," he said, knowing Shockwave needed time alone with his bond-mate. He was sure Megatron could hear what was going on, as coma patients usually could, and he certainly didn't want to cause further stress on the mech.
Turning his head back away, Shockwave listened as the mech walked out of the room, closing the door lightly behind him. He gave a sigh, running his free hand down the side of his helm. "I'm sorry, Megatron," he murmured. "I know this isn't what you want, nor to see me getting so worried and frustrated
But I can't take you hurting. I need answers
I need you," he choked, feeling his systems shudder as he watched the ever-still form of his lover.
Leaning his head onto the berth, he gripped his mate's hand. "Please don't leave me," he wept. "I need you so much
I can't live without you, Megatron."
"Mr. Karmashock, you need to be patient. The patient is simply in a coma, and he's stabilised. This may only last for a few solar-cycles, and you're getting worried over nothing. I assure you, the patient is safe here, and comfortable within his berth," said the medic.
"First of all, that patient has a name," said Karmashock, frowning. "His name is Megatron, and you're doing a shit all job at looking after him. If you knew the mech, you'd know that he's not comfortable here! He's suffering inside his own fear within a hospital room. I may not have a medical degree, but I sure as hell know what the mech feels comfortable in," he snapped.
"Even the slightest thing could trigger a relapse to this mech, certainly if he's suffering inside his own coma. I get the fact he can hear, smell and whatever, but that doesn't mean he won't suffer nightmares of his past while in this coma. You need to do your damn job properly and look after him! He isn't just another patient; he's a mech who needs severe care in a situation like this! His own mind is probably keeping him trapped in whatever he's in right now!"
Okay, so he knew yelling about it wasn't going to help the situation, but the medics needed to do something! If Megatron was kept inside this state, he knew his own mind wasn't going to be kind to him. Megatron's mind was a nightmare within another nightmare. And in a coma? He couldn't even wake himself up when he needed to! This could cause major issues to his previous surgery.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but we're doing all we can," said the medic. "Look, if you want to talk to a professional, we have therapists down this ward. Maybe they could help in talking to him."
Gritting his teeth, Karmashock grabbed the chart in the mech's hand and threw it. "You
moron! I AM a damn professional! I didn't go to University and get a piece of paper that says bullshit on it for no reason! Megatron doesn't need a psychiatrist, he needs someone to be able to get inside his head and pull him out of this!" he yelled, the mech flinching.
"All this talking bullshit with coma patients? What do you think his bond-mate is doing in there!? He's been sitting there all friggen morning and afternoon talking to him, trying to get him out of this state."
Taking a step backwards, the medic put his hands up in defence. "Calm down, sir," he said. "As I've said before, we're doing all we are capable of. If you've got any better ideas, well then you're more than welcome to tell us."
Better ideas!? Well, one was to get Megatron the hell out of this hospital that was run by goons. And then something clicked into his mind. "Virtual Reality Therapy
" he murmured, looking to the other medic. "That's it!"
As the coated mech went to turn, the medic grabbed his arm. "Sir, you can't be serious! We don't have anyone qualified to do that here!" he said, the other mech tugging his arm back.
"I'm qualified," said Karmashock. "Prepare me a room while I go propose this to Megatron's mate. If we don't get Megatron out of this state, well then he could very well be trapped in his mind forever. He needs this, Doctor
?" He paused, waiting for the medic's name.
"Cole," said the medic. "And you're serious about this
?" he asked, very concerned about the whole ordeal. If this mech was right about Megatron's state, well as a doctor, he had to do what was best for the patient. This could cause serious harm to Megatron, or it could prove to be worthwhile and pull him out of his coma. But why Megatron? They had patients every day that were put in comas. Why was getting Megatron out of his that more important than anyone else?
Calming himself down, Karmashock gave a sigh. "You don't know Megatron's mind like I do, Cole. If he's trapped in there? He could be like this for the rest of his life. If you need legal documents and reasons why, I can prove that information. I'm his therapist; I know what is best for his wellbeing, and what is best for his mind, too. No, I don't have a medical degree, and I can't heal the wounds on his body, but I can help him mentally. He needs this
Swallowing, Cole had to think about this. He needed to ask the boss. He had to make sure this was even legal! This kind of therapy wasn't used every day. In fact, it wasn't even considered a legal therapy, it was just an experimental way of helping patients and doctors explore each other's minds.
Alright," he said, looking back up to the slate optics. "I can't promise you anything right now, but I can ask around. I need to know this is the right thing for the paah, Megatron. Plus, we need to know if his next of kin will agree to this, too."
"Of course," said Karmashock, giving a light nod. "I'll go speak to him now, and I'll get you those documents, too," he said, Cole giving him a worried nod before he left back to Megatron's room. He didn't know if this was going to work, but it was something he needed to try. He wasn't physically aware of what it was like to be in Megatron's mind, but knowing what had happened in his past? It was enough to know Megatron could never truly pull himself out of this coma without the help of someone else
"You're sure about this?" asked Shockwave, concern in his soft accent. "Megatron
He'd never agree to this if he were self-aware, you know that," he said, both he and Karmashock standing outside the closed door to Megatron's room. He knew that a coma patient could still hear; they just couldn't physically react. Still, something in his processor was begging him to say no to this idea.
Karmashock seemed so sure about this plan, as if it would solve everything, but what if it didn't? What if it made Megatron trapped inside his own mind? What if there was some kind of actual reason why Megatron wasn't coming back to this world? What if he had given up
? And he couldn't forget that Karmashock could be putting himself into a mentally scarring situation.
"Megatron would kill me if he knew we were planning such actions against him
" he said, shaking his head. "I can't do this without him knowing. He has a hard enough time opening up to you, Karmashock, let alone letting you completely into his mind
I know he can't answer me back, but he can hear me
or at least I have to believe that. I cannot do this without him having such knowledge."
Karmashock could understand Shockwave's concern over the matter. It wasn't one-hundred-per-cent effective, either. He knew the risks of what could happen, but he was the only one qualified to do so. Megatron trusted him, as his therapist and as a friend. He'd allow Shockwave to do it, but he just wasn't qualified, nor had the emotional connection to psychology like he did.
"I understand that," he said. "We can wait for the cops to get back to us on what happened, as well as seeing if anything happens in the next few solar-cycles. It's up to you, Shockwave. If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. After all, Megatron might come out of it before we know it
As easily as he had said that, he doubted it would actually happen. He knew Megatron, and his mind was stubborn. It didn't matter that his lover was here, talking to him and showing him compassion and need. Megatron's mind had a way of destroying itself. He needed a feel of reality, that what was happening in his mind wasn't real, and that it was all just ghosts of his past.
Running a hand over the back of his neck, Shockwave didn't know what to say. He wanted the best for Megatron, and he wanted his mate back more than anything. But this? He just didn't know. He'd never even heard of the therapy before! Was it dangerous!? Could worse things happen!?
I have to think about this," he said, his antennae lowering. "My spark hopes for the best, Karmashock. It aches knowing Megatron is in this state, but
there is still hope that he will wake up and be fine tomorrow. What if we are just blowing this out of proportion? We don't know the facts, Karmashock. This is just guess work."
The therapist knew that, and he could understand why Shockwave wasn't leaping with joy at this idea. Yes, it had risks, and yes, they were jumping to conclusions that this was the worst case scenario with Megatron's condition, but what if they didn't have time to wait for the medics? What if this got worse because no one was aiding to the mech?
"Sleep on it, okay?" he said, looking to the taller mech. He knew Shockwave was worn out from worry. How couldn't he be? The mech loved Megatron more than life itself. Seeing him like this was probably one of the hardest things he'd had to deal with in life. "If you're not keen on the idea, we'll let it pass, but if you change your mind, or if you wanna talk about it further with me, you know where to find me. I should probably head back. Are you gunna head home for the night? Or are you gunna stay here?" he asked.
Shaking his head, Shockwave gave an uncertain shrug. "Doctor Cole said I couldn't stay in the room with him, that Megatron still needed his 'personal space' whilst in this state. He said it was healthy for patients to have a 'time out' period. Less stress
and all that rubbish," he said. "I'd feel guilty if I left, though."
As much as Shockwave wanted to stay with his lover, he didn't think sitting in the waiting room all night would exactly help that. If he wanted to be with Megatron, well then he wanted to be in the same room as him, not down the hall or on a completely different ward. He didn't want to cause further stress, either. Maybe going home and getting some sleep in his own berth was a good idea? He didn't know. His head was all over the place at the moment. Things just weren't the same in this kind of situation
"I know you're worried," said Karmashock, placing his hand to the mech's shoulder, "but destroying yourself over this isn't gunna make anything better. Go home, get some real rest. It'll do you good, Shockwave. Staying here and getting little to no stasis will only make you more agitated, not to mention worn out. The medics will call you if anything happens."
Venting a soft sigh, Shockwave looked through the small glass window on the door. "You see it everywhere in the world, but you never think it's going to be you," he murmured, watching the mech's chest rise and fall as he breathed softly. Megatron's wounds weren't fatal, but like Karmashock had explained, Shockwave knew what his mate's mind could be like in its darkest days.
"Megatron would be ashamed if this was his way to go," he said, giving a sad attempt at a chuckle to try and make himself feel better. It didn't work, and instead, he felt himself slip his back down the door, crouching to the floor as he placed his palms over his face.
Leaning down, Karmashock placed his hand onto the violet mech's shoulder, rubbing it. "He'll be okay, Shockwave
" he said, his optics arched in worry. He'd never seen Shockwave break down before. He was always so calm and collected. He certainly wasn't acting himself, but then who did when such things were happening? Shockwave was right, though. You see it on the TV, in the newspaper, everywhere on a daily basis, but in the end, you never think it's going to be you that this happens to.
"Look, I'll take you home; there you can get some stasis. I don't want you on the road in this kind of emotional state," he said. Primus, he didn't need Shockwave being in an accident and ending up like Megatron, too.
"No, no," pushed the violet mech, running the back of his palm across the front of his face. "I'm quite alright, Karmashock
" he said, trying to collect himself the best he could. "He'll make it out of this. I know he will. He's a strong mech. I just have to be strong for him, too," he breathed, pushing back the tears.
Giving a saddened look, Karmashock admired what Shockwave was trying to say, but it just wasn't that simple. Yes, Shockwave had to be strong, but there was no guarantee that Megatron would make it out of this. Still, like the former Guardian had said; this could all blow over in a few solar-cycles. They just had to wait and see.
"You sure you're gunna be okay to drive?" he asked, the violet mech getting back up, Karmashock following. "I have no problem with dropping you home. Hell, you could stay with me and Synth if need be. You don't have to be alone through this."
Putting his hand up, the violet mech shook his head. "I'll be fine, Karmashock. I'll get some energon into me from the cafeteria before I get on the road. I promise," he added, the mech giving him a stern look.
You know where to find me if you need me, okay?" said the coated mech, Shockwave nodding. He didn't wish to leave the mech alone, but he knew Shockwave wouldn't do anything stupid. Or he hoped, anyway. And letting the mech go, he walked down to the car park and headed back home. He'd have to explain to Synth what had happened. He knew she'd be worried as hell, especially at what he might do if Shockwave agreed to the Virtual Reality Therapy. But if that's what it came down to, well then it had to be done, and it had to be him.
Sitting on the otherwise empty berth, Shockwave looked at the time. It was nearing midnight, but his systems seemed to be running on worry. He'd checked in with Puncture before he came back home, but the mech couldn't explain anything to him. All he said was that they had a slight argument before Megatron had left. Still, it could have been the trigger to all of this.
Megatron would be displeased to know that he had pushed Puncture against the wall and threatened him
No, actually, Megatron probably would have laughed. He knew his feelings for his father, and by Primus, if that mech was really the one that had put him in hospital? He'd return the fucking favour.
Grabbing the small alarm clock that was on Megatron's side of the berth, the violet mech simply gazed at it for what could have been minutes. This just wasn't right. How could the police not know how he had crashed? How could the doctors not know why he was in this coma? The impact of the crash was nothing compared to what Megatron had been through during his time. It seemed more like Megatron had been knocked out, and that was the cause of the crash. It seemed that he didn't stop himself. Could the mech be doing this on purpose? Trying to commit suicide!?
Shaking his head, Shockwave mentally laughed to himself. That wasn't the case, he was merely just thinking of the worst. He and Megatron were planning on a sparkling, so why would Megatron take his life now? When everything was what seemed stress-free. But it made him realise; could he be missing something? Were there signs he never picked up on? Primus, this could be his fault.
" he whispered, putting the clock back down. No, his spark was telling him that wasn't the case. This was just something that couldn't be explained right nowas frustrating as it was. Maybe tomorrow would give them all a better understanding of what was going on. After all, today was only day one